November is now almost over, and it feels as if we’re further behind in everything than we were when the month started. Of course, that’s not entirely accurate, but it feels like that nonetheless.
The few days my parents were both here did not go well. Both Ruth and I were pretty stressed out about it. In retrospective, I think it’s more my dad’s fault: he’s become an extremely rude person and he’s very vocal about it. At times, it feels like he does it because he can’t stand not being in control (or not feeling as if he were in control) because reality might come crashing down on him again. Mom said something to confirm that last night before dinner talking about her having asked him to get US Green-cards for the three of us back in 1992, which he could have as he had employment in the US. But he didn’t because he thought it would always be like that…
So yes, I’m not discharging my mother in all that did not go right these past two weeks, or the past 27 years, but I think more of it is my dad’s fault. Her biggest shortcoming in this is that she put up with him so long that neither of them seem to be in a position to change.
I kicked them out the day dad left. Needless to say, I got quite a lot of very “parental” emails at work that day. It was so scary to see them deny things they did, things they said over the past 5 years. Though it was downright funny when I went through a box of old letters and found mom’s tear-spotted ones from 1999 when she told me how evil that woman was I was marrying.
The three days after that were spent in emails back and forth between mom and I. Dad joined in once but it was so rude I didn’t bother writing back. Mom insisted on staying at a hotel a few block away and we did end up agreeing on a cease fire after she apologized for things she had said without noticing.
All this was going on as I got my first project at work. Not good timing. And things with that project are not going as smooth as I had hoped. For some reason PHP and OCI commands don’t like each other… or at least I don’t completely understand their relationship as they don’t behave like I would expect them to between them reporting that variables have weird values (which they couldn’t possibly have gotten) and/or not closing database connetions. I almost shut down the main two databases within 24 hours. At least my boss seemed forgiving about it as nothing bad happened and I know now what not to do… But it doesn’t make for me feeling very good about where I am.
Add to that, the same week we found out why Roo’s not been feeling so good and probably wont for the next 9 months. It is sad that neither of us was in a predisposition to be truly happy about the moment as both of us feel like the world is crashing down on us: money is shorter due to the increased housing cost and bills we were behind on from the house-hunt this summer, more work woes, hormonal woes associated with pregnacy, my parents presence increasing the stress level, and us working towards our sealing.
And then came another surprise, mom scheduled an inspection of the house they put a bid on (to close around the end of February 2006!) which means the seller may have accepted their offer!
Hopefully with mom leaving today things will run a little smoother as we do not have her to worry about. Though she seemed to be a pretty big help with the children this week even though Roo didn’t feel that comfortable with her being around. We shall see…
Roo and I found a new hobby: 24 (as in the TV show). It had been recommended by her brother Valton sometime last summer. and we decided to rent the first season. And it had us glued to the TV for a little over a week as we watched all discs one a night (4h each) at a time. We started season 2 last Saturday and it seems it still has us hooked. We’ll see how it goes.
Though yesterday an interesting thought came up as we were laying in bed about to go to sleep: why is it that when we’re watching something, we can get excited about the challenge someone goes through: more adrenaline, anticipation about the next move, yelling at the TV for characters making stu… silly choices yet when we are faced with some that are infinetly less life-threatening, we curl up in a ball like hedgehogs….
I guess we’re both struggling with a difficulty to keep focus and motivation up.
And while all this is going poor Gillian seems to struggle with self-confidence. It may come from school as it is the only thing that really changed. All the sudden she takes how other children treat her a lot more personal and often comes to us heart broken because something happened while playing. And this past week she started wetting her bed again. Poor thing. But hopefully we got through that phase again as she’s been dry for a few days again.
Liam is going through a challenging time on his own. He’s still more of an explorer and has a nack for finding forbidden treasures (knives, scissors, remotes, light-bulbs, more or less important papers….). And he’s seems to break out in tantrums easier than Gillian ever did. Though he seems to have gotten a little better.
It’s amazing how many little and not so little challenges come up in life that nobody ever talks about or warnes you about, but everyone seems to have gone through similar ones judging by silent comments, nodding, etc… But then who said life would be a cakewalk?
They led to the $1000 plane ticket for my then wife-to-be…
Though I blame it on the evil windows really… It’s always its fault anyway.